have fun, stay single.

im waiting for the one.

you should already know this. but if you’re new (or you don’t), let me just throw that out there for you.

waiting isn’t really an accurate description of what im doing – it implies too much passivity.

i don’t consider myself passive. i don’t consider myself complacent. i don’t like waiting for things to ‘happen’ to me.

im not waiting for godot.

im not waiting for fate to swoop in and ‘fix me up’ with the women of my dreams.

that might be how it will ‘work’, but im not waiting for it.

im not waiting for it. im searching for it.

im searching for the ‘one’…

and like many of you, ive had my fair share of relationships.

so-close-looks-good-on-paper-right-person-wrong-time kinda relationships

and ive folded on every one of them, like ben affleck in celebrity poker.

if it smells wrong, looks wrong, and sounds wrong, im not going to pretend that its right.

maybe itll be right later, but as of right now, it just aint right.

two rights don’t make a left

and so it goes.

and ive never given it much thought. ive never regretted my decisions. ive never looked back on someone with the ‘oh… maybe she WAS the ‘one’… maybe i just blew the best thing to happen to me’ mentality.

you cant think like that.

you cant torture yourself with shit like that.

you just gotta keep your head down and put one foot in front of the other.

there will always be someone better.

i know my value. i know my worth. i AM a good catch.

im not trying to bolster my ego. im not blowing smoke up my (own) ass. im not trying to make myself out to be better than i am. im not fishing for compliments. (ha! HT).

im merely stating that i KNOW that someone GREAT is still out there for me.

at least i did, until my friend stabbed me through a chink in my armor. it was a glancing blow. it was a flesh wound. it drew a little blood.

but it got my attention.

she was commenting on a picture. a picture of an old friend of mine. a picture of an old girlfriend of mine. and she did as girls will do. she did a side-by-side comparison (of my friend) with herself. just a quick one. but a comparison nonetheless.

and so she says to me, ‘wow. she’s really pretty. hell, she’s beautiful.’

this is stating the obvious. i haven’t seen my ex in YEARS, but she certainly looks as foxy as she did when we were dating.

hell, she looks better than when we were dating.

of course my friend has to ask the inevitable question, ‘what the hell was girl like this doing with a louse like you?’ har har

sure, kick a man when he’s down.

but then my friend says, ‘(KICK) ya know, you’ve dated a lot of (KICK) really great looking girls… (KICK) whats your problem? (KICK) ya know (KICK) you only get to date SO many great looking girls…. once you’ve dated your quota…that’s (KICK) it. (KICK) its (KICK) all (KICK) down (KICK) hill (KICK) after (KICK) that (KICK) (KICK) (KICK) (KICK) (KICK) (KICK)’

my groin feels like mike tysons punching bag. (kicking bag for that matter)

im not worried.

but i am slightly worried.

and it has nothing to do with my quota of good looking girls. but it has everything to do with my quota of good looking girls. because its not JUST about looks. don’t get me wrong, its ABOUT looks. but its also about everything else too. because over the years, ive passed on relationships for a myriad of reasons (including looks). not good looking enough. good looking enough, but not smart enough. good looking and smart enough, but too complacent. good looking and smart enough, but too argumentative. good looking, smart, and even tempered, but socially introverted.

yada yada yada you get the picture.

attractiveness is CERTAINLY an important characteristic. but its also one characteristic as a part of a whole package. and the idea of ‘exceeding’ the quota for dating attractive girls is unacceptable. because it would be the same as ‘exceeding’ the quota for dating intelligent girls. or passionate girls. or trustworthy girls.

one for all and all for one.

being denied any ONE of the characteristics that i find attractive in someone, would basically suggest that i am settling for less than i believe i deserve. realistically there are varying shades of these characteristics – BUT i do expect the right person (for me) to embody all of them (in their varying shades of intensity).

i don’t know if there is a quota. i don’t know if there is NOT a quota.

in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

in the end, the quota serves as a healthy reminder – don’t take things for granted. the perfect woman is out there for me, but that doesn’t mean that she is perfect. because none of us are.

so.don’t.blow.it

david: tonight i'll be the super me.
steve: what if the super you meets the super her and the super her rejects the super you?
david: then it's no problem.
steve uh-huh. why?
david: because it was never you, it was just an act.