dumb and dumberer

it was booty call late.
i had just gotten home from a night of clubbin, when i got the call.
it was a friend of mine. she was in a cab and wanted to know if she could come over.
i looked at my apartment – it was so messy that a deadbody would have fit right in with the current ‘décor’.
i looked at my half eaten pizza - it was plain, so my friend (a veggie) would be able to eat it.
i looked at my tv – ronco was workin his chicken oven magic on mute while my stereo kicked out some cannonball a.
i looked at my computer – i was blog hopping through space.
in otherwords, nobody was home in hooiville.
so i said sure, come on over.
because i knew it wasn’t that kinda call.
she came over and i offered up some pizza.
she doesn’t eat after drinkin, which meant more munchin and crunchin for me.
rock on.
so in between bites, i got down to business…
i asked her what was wrong.
something was rotten in denmark, and the stench was overpowering my pizza.
and i really like my pizza.
so she told me. she told me about partaking a little more than she should have that night. she told me about how one of her friends was being a bitch and an attention whore. and she told me about how this one guy at the club kept untying her top. this one guy at the club that we both knew.
munchcrunch. munchcrunch. wait just a fucking second.
its not that big of a deal, but it is that big of a fucking deal.
because she didn’t want him to.
and she told him to stop.
but he untied it again.
and she told him to stop again.
but he untied it again…
and around and around the merry-go-round they went. wee!
so there i sit, in my apartment, with a piece of pizza dangling from my mouth, suddenly wanting to be very violent to this guys head. body. and spleen.
and im normally not a violent person. minus the seven years of rugby.
but while i thought of different ways to rip off his head and shit on his brain, i logically had to ask the next question – ‘why didn’t you make a fuss? why didn’t you kick his ass? (she could have). why didn’t you scream and shout and make a scene? (she would have). why didn’t you tell me about this while we were THERE?’
so she told me why. there were lots of reasons. some of them good. some of them not so good. some of them very bad.
but i understood that it was her choice, she had made it, and she was a big girl.
and i knew she hadn’t come to my place to so i could kick this guys ass. she hadn’t come to my place for a lecture on how to deal with assholes either. she had came to my place to tell someone who would understand.
so i understood.
even tho i didn’t really understand anything.