fan mail pt1

‘if i don’t think it will work out, should i go on a date [with him] anyways?’

that’s from an email that i recently received.

it’s a good question to ask, but it begs a question in return, ‘why do you already

think it won’t work out with him?’

a question to which i already know the answer, ‘he’s just not my type’.

so im all, ‘how do you know?’

and she’s all, ‘you just do.’

apparently knowing whether or not someone IS (or isnt) your type, is just about as insightful as knowing whether someone is the ‘one’

in other words its not.

but she’s undeniably right. we all have a type.

hipsters. preppies. football players. frat boys. sorostitutes. dorks. rich bitches. yuppies. trixies. emo’s. plain janes. drunks. woo woo girls. bad boys. models. band boys.

you name it and someone probably digs it.

we all have a type.

and chances are that you may even know what your type is.

i certainly do.

i know EXACTLY what my type is.

which is not to say that i only date my type – that would be stupid. dating a variety of people is how you learn what makes you happy. dating a variety of people is how you learn who works with you and who doesn’t. dating a variety of people is how you learn what you do or do not like.

how else would someone (for instance) discover that they have a penchant for petite brunettes who can dominate them inside and outside the bedroom…

(…not that im speaking from my own experience [or anything]). ha!

but seriously, dating around is part of the process for determining a type. its part of growing up. we all do it. we all do it alot, and eventually (if you do it enough) you develop an amalgamation of characteristics that form a new ‘type’. a ‘type’ that actually transcends all of the previous labels (hipsters. preppies. etc) to represent the ‘type’ of person you’re actually interested in.

and that’s who your ‘type’ is.

so back to the original question – what if someone is interested in you, but they’re not your ‘type’?

what to do what to do.

sadly, i don’t have the answer to that one.

because ive been tussling with the same question myself - what if someone is interested in me, but they’re not my ‘type’?

what to do what to do what to do.

because there is someone. and she is not a very girly girl. and i like a reasonably girly girl. she is not ms preppy jcrew. i like ms preppy jcrew. she is not a classic beauty. i like a classic beauty. but she is bubbly cute. i like bubbly cute. she is thrift store vintage. i like thrift store vintage. she is wicked smaaart and extremely well read. i like someone who wicked smaaart and extremely well read. she is artistic and creative. i like artistic and creative. she is opinionated and strong minded. i like opinionated and strong minded. she is exuberant and willing to experiment with life. i like that she is exuberant and willing to experiment with life. she is extremely endearing and incredibly easy to talk to.

and i love that about her.

but (and here’s the kicker) there isn’t a spark.

or at least i haven’t allowed myself to see it (at least not yet).

because she isnt my type.

what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do

post note – its disconcerting (and a little embarrassing) that i couldn’t come up with more reasons why she isn’t my type. its also disconcerting (and a lot embarrassing) that most of the reasons that i did come up with, relate to her external appearance. i always kid that appearance is important to me (and it is), but i never realized how deep that vein goes.

im a neanderthal