i like that i still have hope

damnit. she called me out. and she was right in every possible way. she knew what i was doing, even before the words had lept from my mouth. as the tears ran down her face, and the sobs racked her body, she called me out for the wimp that i am. i should have known that i couldnt sneak one by her.

she's just that good.

and even as her face crumpled, and her cheeks flared from anger and embarrasment, i knew that she was right.

i was scared.

scared that this was happening too fast. scared that i was settling too soon. scared that things would change once we were involved.

a little too late for that one, pardna.

she was right about that, and she was right about so much more.

damn her for being so damn good. damn her, because it only makes me like her even more. and i cant take back what ive said, even though she wants me to. i cant take back what ive said, even though a piece of me wants me to.

she deserves better than this.

i should never have opened my mouth if i thought there was a chance that i couldnt see this breakup (if it can even be called that) through. hell - i should never have let things evolve like they did if i thought there was a chance that i couldnt see this relationship through.

she deserves better than me.

and she called me out, and told me so.