is it everything?

first impressions are everything. this, my parents drilled into me from birth.

from the moment that we lay our eyes (our ears, our touch) on someone, we are judging, we are hefting, we are gauging. maybe its an east coast thing. maybe its a cultural thing. maybe its a guy thing.

whatever it is, it's MY thing.

ill be the first to admit that im quick to judge. im quick to label. im quick to stereotype. i'd like to think that my first impression of someone is dead-on, most (if not all) the time. but that cant be true. as ive previously stated, im a host of contradictions - thus it makes sense that other people may be as well.

but until you prove me wrong, in the box you'll stay.

appearance is the most important first impression that you can make. in one glance a person 'thinks' they know everything about you, and yet they know nothing. despite this ignorance, doors are opened and doors are shut based on what a person 'sees' in that first glance. it happens socially, it happens professionally, in otherwords it happens all the time.

this, my parents told me.

as a result i was taught to always dress well, shake a person's hand firmly, and maintain good eye contact (it helps to say a persons name three times too!). instructions which quickly prompted me to don my pornstar t-shirt, start waving 'whaddup', and keep my eyes firmly glued to a person's chest. ha!

what can i say... i was a teenager.

but times have changed. nowadays i cant find my pornstar shirt (a casualty of a pilfering ex), i get weird looks from executives and managers when i wave 'allo' at business meetings (not to mention my coworkers think im a fruit), and gravity has been gradually pulling my gaze farther and farther south (eeeww!).

as i age, appearance is becoming less and less important. dont let me bullshit you, its STILL an important first impression; but it is no longer the ONLY impression that matters...

sometimes it also matters what kind of car you drive (ha!).

beauty has always been important, but brains and determination are beginning to gallop a close second.

which is why bloggin' is so refreshing.

as we read a blog, it becomes very easy to be seduced by the familiarity that we are treated to. each post that someone has written is a snapshot of their synaptic reflexes spilled out across their haetch-tee-em-el; but once again we are quick to forget that reading is hardly a substitute for the real deal. what we read (much like someone's appearance) is only a small but intimate glimpse of what makes each of us tick. there is so much more than what we visually reveal, even in here.

with only my words to guide you, with only what you read, aren't you curious who i really am? arent you curious what i look like? don't you ever wonder if we've crossed paths before?

do you think im the same person that i am in 'here'?

maybe im the only one... but at times i am plagued by these types of thoughts. who are these mysterious people that i read about? what are they like? would we (under normal circumstances) be friends? in an age of googlin', online yellow pages, match.com, and friendster, it is very tempting to draw assumptions that just arent there... because reading a blog is like people watching from a distance - you are quick to draw conclusions that have no basis of reality whatsoever.

and so we naturally grasp at any piece of information that we can. we can not see one another, so we can not get the first impression that we are used to. as a result, we settle for what we CAN see: birth date, gender, hobbies, profession, links to other blogs... and most importantly the profile pic.

im as guilty as the rest of you - i visit sites with written descriptions that interest me as much as i visit sites with profile pics that interest me. a candid camera profile pic of a 'girl-next-door' with a great ass and a quirky sense of humor is worth at least 65 hits a day.

if you think that im a neanderthal for saying that, you might be right. but that doesnt necessarily make me wrong.

sometimes i wonder if i would get a million more hits if i was hot and blond, and i posted my picture up on my profile. sometimes i wonder if i should pretend to be a hot blond (girl) to get the million more hits. (ha!)

to wrap this tirade up, i'll REALLY cheat and repost a post that cheated (in the first place) by quoting something that i originally posted somewhere else... (ha!)

'appearance is the marijuana (i.e. gateway drug) of relationships. its the introduction, but never the addiction. its why we meet other people, but never the reason we continue talking. in the end, i want a relationship that is based on crack or speed, not pot. i want someone who likes my looks, but craves my personality. dont you?' - hooizz

in the end, i wouldnt want someone dating me solely for my appearance, so i shouldnt want you guys reading (or not reading) me solely for it either. it is always tempting to put up a pic of myself, but i never will. i hope you understand why.

perhaps instead, you guys can post some first impressions that you 'think' you have of me (think back to your very first visit) - and ill let you know which ones are close to being right. fair enough?

'you can never really know another person, except by your first glance at him. because in that glance we know everything. even though we're not always wise enough to unravel the knowledge' -ayn rand

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