dont fake the funk on a nasty dunk

it was the most natural thing in the world, even though i knew it was a mistake the moment it began.

the thought kept scrolling around my mind like one of those long billboards in time square – ‘wearesexuallyincompatible... wearesexuallyincompatible... wearesexuallyincompatible...’

as i lay there, i got dizzy from conceptualizing this swirling motion – i felt like one of those stupid earthlink commercial people – instead of a silly earthlink icon, i had a stream of words orbiting around my head.

and yet even tho my mind wasn’t in the game, my hands certainly were. which is how she found herself in the throes of ecstasy a mere five minutes after we had barely begun.

don’t worry, i had my doubts too.

but that’s natural – in a world full of meg ryan’s, its natural to expect a lil cheating from the fairer sex – even though i still haven’t figured out what a women wins by faking it.

life would be a lot simpler if every girl was like one of my ex’s – her entire body had a way of clenching and pulsating and throbbing and grabbing at you that literally blew my ‘mind’ – and if she was faking, she deserved to be in a circus soleil show because her muscle control was phenomenal. (ha!)

unfortunately ive yet to meet another girl like her, and since then ive decided to take my women at face value (because otherwise that means that they’ve been faking it ever since… an unlikely but not completely unfathomable possibility).

so as i pondered this possibility once again, i was momentarily distracted by her intention to give it another college try.

sometimes it amazes me the lengths that a women will go to, to protect a man’s ego – imagine asking for more of what must have been a ‘horrible’ experience . ha!

not that i was complaining.

because even tho my mind was in turmoil, and my conscience was feeling a little guilty, i was feeling pretty damn good myself.

which is the problem – feeling ‘damn good’ is probably not good for either of us. sure it’s a great form of exercise (yeah right), and it certainly is a great way to start the day (beats starbucks expresso any day of the week), but i cant help but wonder if we’re being self destructive.

we'd already had a bit of history. we’d tried this once before. we’d even had the ‘talk’ a long time ago.

and during that talk, i outlined all the reasons why we should NOT date. and although she respectfully disagreed, (as one of my close friends) she did respect my decision.

and now that things are the way they are, i find it difficult to imagine that the ‘talk’ wont rear its ugly head once again – now she’s being allowed to show the depth of her appreciation for my less than formidable primal ‘skillz’.

as the nights go by, it’s becoming more and more difficult to explain why we’re NOT dating. because even tho i appreciate the attention, and certainly enjoy the encouragement, i am still very adamant about my feelings towards developing any formal definition of ‘us’.

of course we should talk this through like adults.

of course we should discuss how each one of us feels about this ‘situation’.

of course we should stop encouraging each others bad sexual habits by ‘faking’ appreciation for each others less than stellar efforts.

of course we should, but where would the fun be in that? ha!

i want to write like zulieka ~