its always you.

don�t be that way.

its not you... its me.

i know... i know.

those words are clich�.

those words are hurtful.

but in this case, they�re true!

you have to know that i never meant for it to be this way.

you have to know that i never meant for �us� to end.

maybe ive been kidding myself, but ive always thought that we would be together -forever.

i know it sounds cheesy.

i know that the statistics don�t support it.

i know that each passing year has made it less and less likely that we�d stay together.

but i still thought we could make it.

i still thought that we had a chance.

i still thought that you and i would be together... forever.

and im sorry to have let you down.

because it wasn�t you who changed -it wasn�t you who strayed from our relationship.

(it was me)

and there�s nothing i can do or say that will adequately justify my actions.

it was wrong of me to look elsewhere for comfort.

it was wrong of me to look elsewhere for comfort when i should have looked to you first

like i said, its not you... its me.

well... listen. i don�t want this to be a blame game, but, since we�re on the subject...

i think part of me feels (and has felt) neglected for a really long time.

i know that�s not a good excuse, but sometimes it really hurts when you pay more (attention) to everyone else, while you barely acknowledged me at all.

i know that you were trying to balance everyone out, but sometimes i cant help but feel like i need to watch out for numero uno.

afterall, if i don�t watch out for myself... who will?

yeah i know. i KNOW...

i have to stop being so selfish -i have to stop monopolizing your time.

yes, you�re right. there has to be a balance.

but sometimes... sometimes i want to say :

FUCK balance.

FUCK everyone else.

FUCK this shit.

what is in it for FUCKING me?

i mean ive been here for you. through thick and through thin. through hardships, and turmoil, through long days and longer nights. ive been here... for you!

shouldn�t i get preferential treatment?

shouldn�t i get the support and the love that i deserve?

shouldn�t i be your number one priority?

and yet you�ve made it abundantly clear that i am NOT priority one.

i am a priority, but not THE priority.

and i cant live like this anymore. i cant... continue with this lie.

i need more.

i need more than this.

i need more than you are willing to offer.

(exit stage left -curtain falls to the sound of footfalls from a dejected soul)

isnt it funny how an imaginary conversation with your job sounds a lot like an imaginary conversation with your imaginary girlfriend... dontchya think? ha!

'so shut up, shut up, shut up... you'll never stop me... nothing you say today... is gonna bring me down' - a simple plan

karen accurately describes my dilemna ~ bellow makes a good point about butt creepage ~