the live aid dvd

i like to put band aids on my nipples.

which sounds weirder than it is.

although it probably sounds pretty fuckin’ weird to most of you.

band aids are a necessary weirdness considering that my nipples are bloody sensitive.

not all the time mind you, just during specific activities – any type of long run (over an hour and a half in duration) and during any type of run (irregardless of time) during the wintertime

which is especially problematic considering i love going on long runs during the wintertime.

i love the crisp winter air as it sears your lungs after every breath.

i love the crunch and squelch of thousands of snowflakes being godzilla’d underfoot.

i love my solitary shadow dancing along the lakefront without another soul in sight.

i love the feeling of a hot shower as shower drops bounce off of my cold skin after a long run outside.

i love everything about running during the winter, but i hate when my nipples bleed.

bloody nipples are the bane of male runners.

oftentimes bleeding will occur because the person’s shirt (usually cotton) rubs vigorously against their chest until the area is chafed raw.

males are usually the victim because women are more likely to have a protective shell (i.e. a sports bra) protecting their nips and tippleys.

i find that cold air irritates and exacerbates this condition more than warm air. im sure everyone knows that nothing brings the ‘twin towers’ to attention faster than exposing your chest to a wave of cold air. running while being a 'nit bit tippley' is a sure way to aggravate and irritate your skin.

but having said that, it is still possible to see someone during the summer who is sporting the tell tale ‘spotting’ on their shirts. this usually occurs as a result of salt crystals (from sweat) that become trapped between a persons top and their chest. once the salt has adhered to a shirt, its only a matter of time before the up and down motion aggravates a persons skin.

long runs provide plenty of opportunity for this type of situation.

which is why you will often see this type of occurrence during a marathon*.

it amazes me that someone can train for a marathon and NOT know that they should be wearing a dri-fit top instead of the race’s freebie cotton-t. but inevitably there are always a handful of hardcore runners who are proudly wearing cotton shirts with badges of one (or maybe two) trails of ‘courage’ running down their chests.

even though it looks like extremely painful, you are unlikely to feel anything during the actual run.

but after the run is an entirely different matter – especially as you climb into your post run shower.

that shit stings like getting double-tapped on the chest by two paintballs (on bare skin mind you).

which is why i like to put band aids on my nipples.

i find that this saves me a lot of irritation, discomfort, and (occasionally) embarrassment.

which is why i was a little irritated (pun intended) when i forget to don my running ‘pasties’ this past weekend.

maybe i forgot because i was in a hurry to cram this run into my already stacked schedule.

maybe i forgot because i was thinking about someone (and had been thinking about someone) all weekend.

or maybe i forgot because im a moron, and i need to learn to take care of myself better.

personally, i think it’s some of the second, and a lot of the third.

because i REALLY have been thinking about this person… a lot.

which has me fascinated and hopeful and stupidly optimistic for this weekend – because i know ill be seeing her again. and i want to learn more and i want to talk more and i want to gauge her interest and i want to ask her out.

i want to do all of these things because she’s cute and she’s smart, and because she’s interesting and philanthropic and because she’s (seems) genuinely interested in me.

but most importantly, i want to do all of these things because she’s the first person (in a long time) that actually garners these types of feelings from me..

unfortunately because i wont see her till this weekend –i have plenty of time to overthink this one.

which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. because right off the bat, i know im making a HUGE mistake…

because im falling for the oldest trick in the book – being nice.

and in this particular case im not even talking about myself. im not even talking about playin’ the ‘nice guy’ card.

i hate that ‘nice guys finish last’ bullshit.

im talking about misunderstanding when someone else is being nice.

which is a con that we all are capable of falling for.

especially (us) guys.

we are the absolute BIGGEST sucka’s when it comes to a girl being nice to us.

that shit gets us every time.

because we naturally equate a girl being nice… to a girl wanting to sleep with us. ha!

which is a sad but true secret.

which isn’t really a secret, since its no secret that guys are morons.

but you cant blame us completely. because girls know how this type of thing can go down. and they just choose to ignore it. and who can blame them?

why should it be wrong to be nice to someone?

as is always the case, context is the key. if a guy is not attracted to a girl, her ‘niceness’ factor doesn’t factor. but if a guy is attracted to a girl, her ‘niceness’ factor can be completely misconstrued as mutual interest.

which is why i could be making a HUGE mistake.

i want to believe that there is some mutual interest – i want to believe that all the pieces fit together perfectly and im not completely misreading this. but obviously this is such an easy rabbit hole to fall down.

on one hand i feel like i need to be careful. i need to check my enthusiasm.

because lets not forget that im a moron, and i need to learn to take care of myself better.

because lets not forget that pre-emptive measures can save me a lot of irritation, discomfort, and (occasionally) embarrassment.

because lets not forget that i hate bloody nipples.

but on the other hand i say fuck it.

because i like being hopeful.

because i like feeling the way i do about her.

because i cant wait to see what happens this weekend.

* contrary to most non-runners belief a marathon is ALWAYS 26.2 miles (with the exception of marathons run in pre-historic times)